On June 25, I went to the Bizarren music festival/party with bros Mark, Trevor, and Trey. What is Bizarren, you ask? Oh, I will gladly inform you of that little ditty.
Bizarren is an annual musical party at some venue in Córdoba. The headlining bands are generally Argentine bands that were popular in the 80's and 90's. People dress up in costumes.
Tigger, Dr. Zoidberg, Johnny Bravo, and ...?Best costumes (not those cheaply bought, but homemade): a man in a shower, and the end of a roll of toilet paper.
Oh. That's fine and dandy. What kind of whippersnappers go to Bizarren?
Fair Question. I noticed three age groups: students/young people going to have a good time with alcohol, music and dancing, slightly older youngish people going to revisit the music that punctuated their teenage glory years, and creepy out-of-place older people. I know what you're saying. "Wait, the brush you're using is too wide. How do you know they're all creepy?" Oh fine. Maybe not. There were a few older couples. But this was not a shindig for middle aged people. My possible reasons why old guys would be there: 1) To ogle younger females, 2) To pick up younger females, and 3) They haven't accepted that they're not 24 anymore and are leading their life accordingly.
Neato. What was there to do at this shindig?
Why, you can bet your bottom dollar I'll tell you! When we first walked in, there were arcade games on the right. Directly in front of us there were 3 metegol tables, and further on the right was a bar. There were lines for face-painting and popcorn. Across from us there was an SNES hooked up to a projector. Further in there were opportunities to take your picture with Mario and Luigi or Pacman cutouts. There were also jesters/carnies who walked around on stilts or rode miniature musical instrument-clad bikes. On stage, before the headliners got on, there was at one point a chubby man in a sparkly Elvis costume. My favorite performance of his—although not due to any musical adroitness—was a drunken, broken-English cover of "Hey Jude." By the end of this song, he was lying down boca arriba wailing the "na na na nas" and "hey judes". It was great, however not in the classical sense of the word.
I intended to merely attend to view the spectacle, however my 2 of my friends, one of them a bro to the bone, intended to meet girls. This made me reflect upon things. I have amassed 20 years, statistically a fourth of my life, and this nine year-old spits more game than me; I can't flirt. I am okay with this. I tend to rather get into relationships like this (friends first). I have no intentions of picking up my wife at some bar/club, and whomever I meet will love me for whom I am. We will laugh together at my (many) miscues. Besides, I'd rather be debonaire than Don Juan.
Store bought costumes are a cheap façade. They show you want to impress people, but don't care or have enough creativity to make your own. You get to interact with people not because of who you are, but because of what you're wearing. I'd rather hold conversations with people because I'm interesting/kind/charming.
Oh. In other news, I think I had my first (and hopefully last) interaction with a prostitute. I have no way of knowing for sure if she was a regular Roxanne, but I here are the facts.
- She was with a man, whom I'll call her handler. This man went up to guys, telling them something along the line of "Le gustas" or "Quiere bailar contigo." Warning sign: what guy tries to pawn off the girl he's with?
- Life has taught me that I don't have the rugged masculine features that make girls helplessly throw themselves at me. She was throwing herself at me. Consequently, this raised a red flag. This was further substantiated by the face that I later saw her throw herself at various other men.
- Multiple times she tried to kiss me (gross). This prompted the "handler" to pester me with questions, including, "Do you like boys?" (my initial thought: "no, but I'm sure you have a guy who likes me and wants to dance with me to") and, "Do you have a girlfriend?" To get him off my case, I'd have to lie "yes" to one of the questions. I settled on the latter.
- The girl was very drunk.
- The handler tried to steal my jacket. This doesn't speak to her being a prostitute, but just his scummy character in general.
And so was the night of Bizarren, initially billed to me as a spectacle to be seen, turned into an attempted hook up scene.
Toodles. Next, Iguazú.
