Heart of a Champion (Because of UT)

So this may be one of my least entertaining blogs yet. I think my blogs have become gradually less and less entertaining as time has gone on. Allusions and puns are at an all time low. Hopefully i will get great ideas over break.

Included this time: UT police after Michael Mayo?!?!, comical class happenings, things I don't understand, what it takes to not be racist.

Not included: a really funny story, on par of epic-ness with the bee. My trusty dusty brain was more dusty than trusty.

Things that happened to Me

• In my science for future educators class (for future educators=95% girls), a guy TA from another section of the class walked in to ours. As he was walking out, our TA said, "Caroline thinks you're cute." Caroline replied with an enthusiastic, "¡BITCH!" I thought this was funny. Also, the rest of the class then started talking about how cute the guy was ("he has really pretty eyes," etc.). For some reason this thoroughly entertained me.
• Same week, maybe a day earlier, I was in my UGS class, which is a lecture of aout 250 kids. The guy in front of me apparently suddenly found note-taking a mundane chore and decided to do something on the internet. When he opened the window, a "your last session was terminated unexpectedly, would you like to restart it?" popped up. He regrettably optioned yes. Subsequently an internet window of porn popped up on his computer, which he made a hastily scramble to close. He followed this up with a nonchalant look around, acting like nothing happened. But something did happen, kid in front of me in UGS, and the two guys sitting next to me and myself got a kick out it.
• That week in cell group, we had a prayer meeting where we just prayed the whole time. It was nice and incredibly relaxing to slow down and spend time with my maker (which I don't do a good job of).
• Later that night, we went to Addison's room in an attempt to study. However, studying was replaced with fun. We just hung out, for a while watching youtube videos (cute kitten and kid singing hey jude). Then Scott, Jeremy, and I (but mostly Scott and I) began looking at laser pointers online. To give customers a sense of how strong they were, there were qualitative levels like: beam visible at night, beam visible during day (what I'd want), able to pop balloons, able to light matches, stings bare skin (!!!!!), eye protection mandatory. Scott opted to get the light matches one, deciding stinging ability was too much power/responsibility. But seriously, there was a video of a laser than burned through a CD case in 10 seconds. Also, further evidence that Jeremy Gatson had no childhood: he never heard of Weird Al.
• The next day I called my mom while waiting for the bus. I was sitting on a bench next to some bushes, inside which a squirrel and bird were frolicking/gathering nuts/seeds/whatever. I derived much joy from watching them dart in and out of the bush. It was funny because occasionally one would get territorial and try to chase the other one away. It made me smile.
• While waiting for the bus, I broke the primary rule of homeless handouts: never give money. This is obvious, because if you give them money, they often buy something which you shouldn't endorse them doing (alcohol, cigarettes, drugs). However I'd given away nothing so far this semester and this homeless person was an exception. First of all he wasn't a drag rat (that description is a bit too derogatory, but just to give you an idea. Many drag rats are more panhandlers than what people think as homeless) due to appearance and location. He was so enthusiastic about life, not a cynic on the side of the road looking at the world with hate-filled eyes (which to me seems what many drag rats are like, at least the ones that threw a beer can at me). He asked for a buck fifty. I didn't have a buck fifty and instead gave him $2. He was overcome with joy (warning, stereotypical word approaching), exclaiming in a blaccent, "You jus' made a poor homeless black man's day," (i was still on the phone with my mom) "Tell yo' mama she raised you right!,"You have a Merry Christmas and a happy New year!" and the like. Of course, this all may have been a ruse to get handouts. If so, he played me like a fiddle. I'll let you decide if I was fiddle or friendly.
• So, my last week of tutoring at Metz was a week ago, Nov. 30-Dec. 1. It was amazing. First of all, you walked in, and Christmas was everywhere. After being in the PISD for 13 years, this was amazingly awesome and gave me a little slice of home. Christmas trees, Santas, Christmas decorations everywhere. If a PISD school did this, a complaint to the district and principal would be filed before classes started and a lawsuit would be filed by lunch. But that's beside the point. We made ornaments with our pictures to exchange with our students and it was adorable. I will miss them very much next semester. :' (
• It has become an occasional pastime to shine my laser pointer through the window either on passerbys (how do you pluralize that word?) or right in front of them so they can see. I was in Scott's room and did it to two people on the drag. After doing it for a second I forgot about the laser and started talking to Scott. I then found a red dot in my eye. They lasered me back. I found this funny.
• Also last week, the Popo's were after me. I came back from either Scott or Addison's room after hanging out and found a policeman's business card on my door. I without thinking put it on my desk and went to bed. The ensuing morning I went to go to class and my bike was gone. I gathered my bike must've been impounded. I passed my neighbor Sara while walking out the door and she asked, "Are you okay? The police were looking for you last night." I understood why, but the thought of police looking for Michael Mayo made me bust out laughing (this is funny because I am not the mischievous type to get in trouble, much less trouble with the law). Anyways, they impounded my bike because it was locked to the emergency exit gate, which seems acceptable on their part and inexcusable on my part. Here is my defense: A) All of the spots were taken on the bike rack (This always pisses me off because 80% of the bikes are never used, always in the same spot and 30% are improperly locked, so you could easily steal them. It has always crossed my mind to tip off a hobo/bike thief to this so I could have my much deserved spot, since I one actually use my bike and two know how to lock it up). This leaves me with two choices: lock it to someone's bike that's already locked up (dick move) or lock it to the emergency exit. B) I chose the latter because people have been doing that all year long without penalty. C) My bike was locked in a way so the gate could swing open unimpeded. So there were no practical negative effects. Nonetheless, the one time they decide to impound bikes, mine was there due to no other recourse.
• Last week some of my friends and I went to a UT basketball game against USC. We won by a lot despite what I thought was a bad first half (like 50% free throw shooting, no exaggeration, terrible defensive rebounding, etc). However, I was amazed by a player we have named Dogus Balbay who had three entire-crowd-stands-up-breathtakingly-awesome plays. Also, Dexter Pittman was having a block party (7). I look forward to attending more of these. On a sour note, at the end of the game, USC was irrevocably losing. We all wanted to see Lil' Romeo play (apparently he is at USC and rides the bench for their basketball team). He did not. Boo on you USC coaches, let him have fun. Malarkey.
• Almost lastly, it "snowed" here last friday. I hate it when snow is in the forecast in Texas, because 90% of the time it doesn't happen. Attention craving meteorologists want to get more time by advertising snow, because there are few things Texans get more excited about than a glimmer of hope for some snow. It is a novelty. It happens once a year, maybe. It accumulates either not at all, or like an inch only on the grass and cars. Yet people still go inexplicably crazy. This friday, there were light flurries for less than 10 minutes, yet everyone at UT on facebook was like "OMG guys snow!" My philosophy is that if it doesn't accumulate, it doesn't count. Snow in Texas is snow in the loosest sense of the word. Yet people still drool over it every time. Gross.
• Courtesy of my exceedingly generous friend Joe Shields, I was able to go to the Big 12 Championship game. If you didn't watch it you probably aren't terribly enthusiastic about football, and only the last 8 minutes will be of interest to you. Here is it in a nutshell. Based upon his playcalling and clock management, Mac Brown was driven to try and lose us a trip to the national championship. Colt McCoy's decision making coincided with Mac's desire to lose, but he also seemed to want to gift wrap the Heisman for Toby Gerheart (until I unfortunately saw Ingram had a great game against Florida, which will sadly probably win him the Heisman because Ingram's performance will be freshest and he plays for a better team). Hopefully this scare slapped some sense into them and they got all of their idiocy out in time to prepare for the National Championship game.
• In Colt's defense on that last play (I still think it was poor), the one thing that struck me about the new Cowboys stadium was the lack of clocks on field level. The lowest play clock I saw was at the bottom of the second level. I couldn't even see a game clock close to field level. I don't know how Tony Romo manages the two minute drill without a clock that's readily visible from the field level.
  
• However, this performance did not irk me most the night of the game. What did was the ignorant Nebraska kid (aged apprx. 12 yrs) who consistently demonstrated his dearth of football knowledge surface level fandom. He kept making dumb statements like, "Why are they bothering with the clock? A few seconds isn't going to change anything!" I'm not terribly knowledgeable about football, but please! Furthermore, in the third quarter he told me this game is boring and he's going to play on his iPhone for the rest of the game. This irritated me because A) You are at the game! Enjoy it! Others would kill you without hesitation to get your seat there and B) really? a twelve year old needs an iPhone?
• And, oh yeah, I got initiated to BYX!!
  

Now it's time for non-sequitors that crossed my mind.

• I have previously mentioned "exciting" drivers I have experienced. I think I am an exciting biker. Exciting meaning you drive/bike in a controlled reckless manner. It may not be viewed as safe, but you know what you're doing and don't get in trouble. Anyways, like a good biker, I acknowledge the pedestrian has the right-of-way. Thus, the pedestrian should not have to alter their path for bikers. Therefore whilst biking, if someone is walking perpendicular to my direction, I change my path so I will go behind them, so they can walk on without doing anything. This requires me to change my direction to where they currently are, so by the time I get there, they will be in a different spot. Nonetheless, almost without fail, when pedestrians see me coming from a distance, instead of walking along so they won't get hit, they freeze, which causes confusion and annoys me to no end. I understand their mindset and think it is reasonable, but I just wish they could see mine and be like, oh yeah, I should keep walking
• It has come to my attention that I think sloth is now either the, or one of the 7 deadly sins i struggle with the most. I never realized it until this year but it is so true: rarely putting forth all my effort in things, doing the least to get by, etc. I habitually half-ass it. I want to change so bad, but just don't have the initiative or drive. Thus sloth repeats itself. I hate this. I'm not trying to complain, just expressing how I feel.
• I of course want the NBA Finals to be won by the Lakers or Mavericks, but how cool would it be if Lebron and the Cavs win it. They have great team unity, and it is a blast watching the bench react and get super pumped about the plays their team makes. Every posterizing dunk or sick pass/steal evokes a celebration unparalleled in the NBA. I want to see Lebron win one just to see how joyful they are and their reactions.
• I've decided there are two types of being "cool:" mainstream and indie. Mainstream is the cool that most kids think of in middle/high school. The kids whose coolness is readily apparent. They are just suave. This coolness is greatly rewarded socially in high school. The other kind is indie cool. This cool is not readily displayed. One must interact with an indie cool person for a while to see how awesome they are. There also might be a further underground aspect of cool, which is just almost impossible to find.
• There are also two types of funny: intentional and unintentional. The intentional funny people are those who you think of as funny. You either have it or you don't. If you are truly intentionally funny you will be funny always. You are funny when you mean to be funny. Unintentional is when people provide funny situations. Common types are those who frequently expose themselves to ridicule through dumb comments, being funny by a peculiar choice of words or acting in a way that is normal to them but outrageous to society.
• Something I just remembered but am too lazy to include in the previous section. While waiting before our last study hours for BYX, Chase Covington said something stereotypical/mildly racist about black people. He then followed it up with an emphatic, "It's okay! I have three black friends: Jeremy, Xavier and (insert name here). And (insert name here) isn't even in BYX!!!" So apparently as long as you have three friends in the group you are being racist to/stereotyping, it is perfectly okay! This made me laugh a whole lot.
• Finally, a very grave issue. I have noticed that cute kitten/cat internet videos preposterously outnumber cute puppy/dog internet videos. We know this is an inaccurate representation of reality. Dogs are better than cats in every facet possible; we know this. So why are the cuter species vastly outnumbered virally? My theory: cat lovers are crazy. They treat their cats as if they were a person, despite the cat's overall contempt or at least apathy for its human caretakers (just another reason why dogs are better–they actually love you back). In short these cat people are truly crazy about their cats. Moreover, crazy cat people feel the need to tell anybody and everybody how (not so) great their feline companions are, a very polarizing thing. This of course drives crazy cat people into further human isolation, until the fervent feline fanatics have only their cats to coddle and spend time with. Since they have been totally rejected by society, no one will listen to their pathetic pleas of feline superiority, they resort to the internet. Camera in hand, they spend every waking moment searching, craving for those 30 seconds that will show the world cats can have some redeeming value. Sadly, there are more of these crazy cat people in society then one would think is healthy. Thus the preponderance of these clips that misrepresent the overall value of the feline species. Furthermore the abundance of these clips tragically probably cause future pet owners to choose cats over dogs. These new owners soon see the light after the kitten stage is over and realize they have been jipped. Why doesn't this happen with dog owners? Because dog owners know that their dogs are awesome and let their companion's actions speak for themselves. They (dog owners) are like the people who don't worry about being cool and therefore are, whereas the people (cat owners) who desperately seek approval and coolness at every possible opportunity simply drive their stock of respect and self decency into the ground, until they find that a well to do friend mercy kills their beloved cat and puts it in the freezer. How true are these assertions, might you ask? Very true. Their veracity is undoubted and supported by years rigorous research from psychology departments of Tier 1 universities. I am just trying to empower you with the truth.
  

Random: One guy's take on Tiger.

Alright. I was pondering, and found a few things I don't understand. Here they are:

1. WNBA. It doesn't make money. The market for it are as follows: people who work for it, have friends relatives in it, and girls under the age of 15. The people who hate it most are dads of under 15 girls who must tote their girls to the games because that's what they want. My heart goes out to these men in unfortunate circumstance. Main grievances include: shooting from the chest, terribly quality of play when compared to men's, despite being the most talented/athletic people in their sport, only 2 can dunk. Exceptions: Candace Parker. Make no mistake, I support females who like to play basketball, it is a fun sport; just don't do it professionally. I even support women's basketball in the olympics. I think it has a place there. But so does field hockey, and you don't see the a professional women's league for that. One great thing about the WNBA: great place to display funny signs at sporting events.
   
2. I have spied many people across campus who while jogging for exercise jog slower than either a regular walk or a power walk. This baffles me. Either take bigger strides or power walk.
3. Premarital sex. Feel free to disagree with me on this. As follows are reasons why I think it is not the best choice. I have little to no basis for arguments after A. Just what seems logical to me, so feel free laugh at my argument
   A. Religious reasons.
   B. Complicates a relationship in a variety of ways. Need to worry about contraception, STD's etc.
   C. Devalues marriage. In modern society, marriage no longer means "you are the one person I am going to sleep with" (that seems pretty special to me) or "you are the one person i want to spend the rest of my life with" (due to prevalence of US divorces)
   D. Relationship can degenerate to purely sexual bases. You like/love the person because you can have sex with them. Love that the most.
   E. Encourages comparison. When you have multiple partners, you will naturally compare and decide who is/was best. (not speaking from experience, that's just how people work) It isn't healthy for a relationship to be "in love" with someone and think "well this girl was way better. I liked her a lot better this way." This becomes especially unhealthy in marriage.
   F. Sex is incredibly intimate, should not be shared with many people.
4. Hasty Divorces. From a Christian viewpoint, I view marriage as sacred and believe forgiveness should be the first way to go. Everyone consistently screws up, just usually in minor ways. Few people intentionally want to sabotage their marriage. Anyone given the right circumstance could probably do something that would make someone think divorce. Sure you'll be pissed at them for a while, and that is natural; healing takes time. One time incidences are forgivable. Recurring instances are where you have to draw the line and where differences may become irreconcilable. Furthermore, it seems most divorces arise because people involved either are too lazy to healthily resolve conflicts or to selfish to realize that in marriage lots of times you have to put the needs of someone else above the needs of your partner. Marriage is not a cake walk. Furthermore, I believe marriage is sacred and should be treated as such, not nonchalantly discarded. These reasons are why I want Will and Terri to try and work things out on Glee!